“What is it really like to live here? If you were to tell a story about living in Vermont to someone from another country, what story would you tell to show that person what it was like? What descriptive words could you use to help the reader create a mind movie about Vermont? What things could you share with the reader to show them how if feels to be you for a day? You may chose to tell them about maple syrup, cold snowy days, mountains or fall leaves. Tell the person a story that would show him/her what your life is like. “
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ReplyDeleteA Day in the Life of Me
ReplyDeleteYou wake up in the morning walking outside and smelling the cool fall air. You look up at the mountains and watch the colorful leaves sway back and fourth. As you walk down the sidewalk, you can hear the “crunch” of the leaves with ever gentle foot steps. Looking out onto the soccer field you wonder where the ear piercing screams are coming from, but it is only the sound of kids screaming for joy, as they play their fall soccer game. During school hours you can look into the shiny windows and see kids learning: pencils hitting heads, hands on chins, eyes on teacher, and the sound of kids talking to themselves as they problem solve. You may also see kids goofing as they make faces, laugh and whisper back and forth . Walking the streets that evening, wow what a pretty sight. You see lights shining from every house. You hear the sound of the remotes clicking off as kids settle down for bed. Then I hear nothing but the dead silence of night.
By,
Jacob =^)
Jacob,
ReplyDeleteYou have done a wonderful job with this piece, for I love the use of descriptive language that you used to tell about a typical day in your life. An area that you could improve is tell about what you may do after school and before the evening approaches...there is a definite gap in your story here. Don't rush this change and be sure to use the same vivid language and detail that makes this piece great.
Your Teacher and Friend,
Mrs. Starr
A Day In The Life of Me
ReplyDeleteThe sun wakes me up as it gleams through the window. I sit up, stretch a little, and get dressed. I descend down the stairs, with fast movements. I skip the last step and jump! Boom! I land flatfooted on the floor! Passing through the dining room and into the kitchen, I have some Cinnamon Toast Crunch and say good morning to my mom delightfully while she makes my brother some breakfast. I put on my shoes and head outside. Once I step out, the warm fresh air hits my face. The aroma of chlorine from my neighbors pool fills my nose, smelling not so good. Smelling very strong! I walk along the side of my house to my backyard. I get my basketball and shoot some hoops. I am like Michael Jordan, yeah right! SWOOSH! I made a basket! I go back into my house and hear the deafening sound of my little brother screaming while he bounces off the walls! It’s now lunch time and I make myself a peanut butter and fluff sandwich with some crunchy delicious cheetos! Mmmmm. I eat while watching Phineas and Ferb. Eating my yummy food, and laughing when Phineas says “Where’s Perry?” The day goes by as fast as a rocket ship launching into space. Dinner time has passed. Now it is time to hit the lights... and say good night. “GOOD NIGHT!”
By,
Christina
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteA Day In The Life Of Me
ReplyDeleteI wake up to a warm sunny day. Outside my window, the sun was shining and the mosquitos and bugs were buzzing happily everywhere. I take a quick shower, get into something light then head outside. My two goats are out in there pens grazing on fresh green grass when they see me, they call. As I look around I see my pool with it’s clear blue water awaiting me for a swim later. I also see my tan rabbit jumping about on our lawn searching for three leaf clovers. My black cocker spainel, Squirtle is laying in the shade of our garage panting. Every now and then I see butterflies flutter past and I hear the sweet song of chickadees chirping. I see our chickens scratching in the dirt for worms and bugs. I walk into the chicken coop and grab some fresh eggs for, scrambled eggs in the morning. I look at my house and I see my kitten Ginger peering out curiously from the corner of my eye. As I start toward the porch, Squirtle is walking beside me wanting to go into our cool air-conditioned house. When I get inside I put the eggs in the fridge and settle down beside Ginger on our couch and watch some T.V! A couple of hours pass and we eat supper. Now it’s time for bedtime, and I can’t wait to do my day all over again tomorrow.
By: Meagan
Dear Jacob,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a really GREAT job on your piece. You used very good vivid language. You also used your class time wisely. You are a very talented writer. (Robert thought of that!!)8^] I agree with Mrs. Starr just fill in that gap. To wrap it up GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!
BYEE!!
Love,
Christina
Dear Christina,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a very good job at using descriptive language like how you described smelling the scent of chlorine from your neighbors pool! :)
But somethings you can improve on is telling some other things you do in your day to make it go by faster.
Over All Great Job Christina!!!!
LOVE,
MEAGAN
Dear Jacob,
ReplyDeleteYou did a very good job on your writing piece! =]
My favorite part is the ending.
Like people have been saying... fill in the gap!!!
Great Job Jacob!
~Meagan
Dear, Christina
ReplyDeleteDid I get your name right this TIME? LOL
I also think that you did a great job with your awesome vivid language. Nice work! UUUUUUUMMMMMM I really can't think of any think that you can improve on right now, I got a short circuit dddddddduuuuuuuuuuu. o UUmmm BYE!
Love,
jacob
Dear Meagan,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job with your vivid language. I would deffinetly want to be you for a day or TWO! Haha. I also like how you made it interesting. GOOOOOOOOOD JOOOOOOOOB!!!!!!!
LOVE,
CHRISTINA 8^]
Dear meagan,
ReplyDeleteI think that you did a great job on your vivid words And describing your day.(not) just kidding. lol. I don't think that you have to improve on any thing
-jacob
Dear Christina,
ReplyDeleteI would like you to elaborate on some of the other things you may do during the day. It seems like your great writing piece ended abruptly: What happens between lunch and bedtime? Could you describe an event that will give the reader a glimpse into your life for a day? Also, you wrote: "he aroma of chlorine from my neighbors pool fills my nose, smelling not so good. Smelling very strong!" What other scents fill your nose? Please tell!! What do you see when you look around? What do you hear?
Great start! Please consider by comments and revise your writing.
Your Teacher and Friend,
Mrs. Starr
Dear Meagan,
ReplyDeleteI love your writing piece!! I can imagine being you as you wake and take a look around your yard as you watch all of your interesting animals. I would improve your piece by filling your day with some sort of activity. It seems that once you go inside and watch TV your day is over! What activity could you chose to describe that would give the reader a sneak peak into your life?
Your Teacher and Friend,
Mrs. Starr
A Day in the Life of Me
ReplyDeleteYou wake up in the morning walking outside and smelling the cool fall air. You look up at the mountains and watch the colorful leaves sway back and fourth. As you walk down the sidewalk, you can hear the “crunch” of the leaves with ever gentle foot steps. Looking out onto the soccer field you wonder where the ear piercing screams are coming from, but it is only the sound of kids screaming for joy, as they play their fall soccer game. During school hours you can look into the shiny windows and see kids learning: pencils hitting heads, hands on chins, eyes on teacher, and the sound of kids talking to themselves as they problem solve. You may also see kids goofing as they make faces, laugh and whisper back and forth . At the end of the day the school buses go rolling out of the school yard full of kids. I hear the sound, “chhhh” as the bus stops to let off all the kids at their houses. One by one as we move slowly down the road. The sun is starting to get dim now, shadows rome the earth, the sky is as pink as strawberry lemonade, yumm. Walking the streets that evening, wow what a pretty sight. You see lights shining from every house. You hear the sound of the remotes clicking off as kids settle down for bed. Then I hear nothing but the dead silence of night.
By,
Jacob =^)
Dear meagan,
ReplyDeleteI allready said what you did good so i think that you can improve on telling more about the end of the day lke what it looks like out side and stuff
GREAT WORK
-jacob
Dear Jacob,
ReplyDeleteWow! That's a lot better! Much better the second time. Now I do not think you can improve on anything because you used way better describing words!
Great Job!
Your Friend,
Meagan
A Day In The Life Of Me
ReplyDeleteI wake up to a warm sunny day. Outside my window, the sun was shining and the mosquitos and bugs were buzzing happily everywhere. I take a quick shower, get into something light then head outside. My two goats are out in there pens grazing on fresh green grass when they see me, they call. As I look around I see my pool with it’s clear blue water awaiting me for a swim later. I also see my tan rabbit jumping about on our lawn searching for three leaf clovers. My black cocker spainel, Squirtle is laying in the shade of our garage panting. Every now and then I see butterflies flutter past and I hear the sweet song of chickadees chirping. I see our chickens scratching in the dirt for worms and bugs. I walk into the chicken coop and grab some fresh eggs for, scrambled eggs in the morning. I look at my house and I see my kitten Ginger peering out curiously from the corner of my eye. As I start toward the porch, Squirtle is walking beside me wanting to go into our cool air-conditioned house. When I get inside I put the eggs in the fridge, I look at the clock on the stove and it’s 12:00. I settle down next to my cat Ginger and watch some T.V! A couple of hours pass and it’s now 1:00, I go outside again and walk slowly down to the goat pen. I open the latch and sneak inside, when they see me they run up to me. I start to walk a little more down then they start running really fast and jump onto a huge pile of rocks my dad brought them, for something they could climb on. Our smaller goat Annabell gets on her back-hooves and rams our other goat Zoey on the head, but I know there just playing. I creep toward the door slowly and sneak out, and I wasn’t even noticed by the goats. I check the chicken-coop again to see if there’s anymore eggs, I look around and I see Squirtle digging at something on the lawn. I walk over and I notice it’s a rock, I pick it up and throw it she runs for it as fast as her little legs can go. When I go inside I was shocked because I was outside for almost 4 hours, it was now 7:00! My mom was making dinner, while I wait I head downstairs to my brother he was on the xbox as usual. We talk for a while until we hear my mom holler down “Suppers Ready!” As I was going up the stairs Nick races past me. After we eat I tell my parents good night and head off to bed. Waiting to do my day all over, again tomorrow. :D
By,
Meagan
One friday morning my alarm clock started singing Taylor Swift. I woke up and looked out the window to see a winter wonderland. I got up, got dressed, brushed my hair, and went downstairs. Mom was eating a bowl of cheerio’s and Dad was watching the news.
ReplyDelete“Both Richford school’s will be closed for the day. The reason is a blizzard may hit so be prepared Richford. That will be all. Thanks for watching Vermont.”
“Well” said my awesome dad “do you want to have a little snooze in or stay up?”
“I’ll stay up thank you.”
Later when Ian, my brother woke up I asked if Maria (my friend) could come up.
My Dad answered “ What the heck.” So I called Maria up and asked if she could. Maria could come and sleep over. Alright!
Maria came over at noon and we had so much fun! We made forts, igloos, and snow angels! We became tired and climbed into an igloo. Maria and I climbed out of the igloo inside. We got some nice not-to-hot-not-to-cold hot chocolate. We got outside again with Ian to build a snow castle.
Later that evening all of us came in for dinner. The day was done. We sleep until 9:30 the next day when Maria was to leave. It was pretty fun.
-Juliette
Dear Meagan,
ReplyDeleteI think you did an awesome job on your Day in the life of. I could see your dog running after a rock and the chickens your yard. I think you could improve by saying when you went outside and what you ate!!
Nice job overall,
Juliette
Dear Juliette,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a pretty good job at using descriptive language! Like when you were describing what you made in the snow with Maria.
Somethings you could improve on is don't have your dad say "What the heck!" Maybe have him say "yes" or "no." That didn't make any sense to me!
Great Job overall!
Your friend,
MeAgAn W.
Dear Christina,
ReplyDeleteI think you did an AWESOME job. I could smell the chlorine of the pool. I could totally hear your little brother screaming (I too sadly have one).
I think you could improve by saying what you did between watching Phineas & Ferb and going to bed.
Bye,
Juliette
A Day in the Life of Me
ReplyDeleteI wake up in the morning to my mom yelling, “MATT! TIME TO WAKE UP!!!”
I get up feeling a little light headed. “OK mom,” I would say.
I would open my window and find a beautiful day. The sky is as blue as the wide open sea. The air is fresh and clean. As I walk down stairs, my mom would say “Matt get ready for school and fix your hair.” I would get dressed, say goodbye to my mom and head out to school on my bike. When I get to school, I say hi to my friends. I would go trough the same subjects almost every day. Morning work , morning meeting, specials/math/kinder buddies, math, reading group, lunch, recess, Social Studies, independent work then finally ride the bus home. The best part of the day is when we get to do math. Math is my favorite subject. In math, we worked on our math surveys and charted our data. When I get home, I throw my backpack on the couch and say “Mom, I am going outside,”
Once I get outside, I could already see the beautiful sunset and all of the shades of blues, greens, purples, yellow, orange and red. I would see my dad working on my mom’s truck. I say “Hey dad,” as I run off into the woods whistling past him.
When I get back, my mom is yelling “ Matt dinner in ready!”
I would eat and then go outside. When I get outside, it is dark out and I can here the dark rumbles of thunder in the distance. I would carve things with my knife until the rain starts and then come back in the house. When I get in the house, I would brush my teeth and go to bed.
-----Matt-----
A Day In The Life Of Me
ReplyDeleteI wake up in the morning to the buzzing of my alarm clock and the rustling of sawdust from underneath my guinea pig’s tiny black paws going round and round in her cage. Tired, I get out of bed slowly and, walk down the hallway to the stairs and listen to the sound of a spoon spinning and clacking around inside a coffee mug. When I take my last step onto the platform, I am greeted by the bright modern white and black kitchen. My father is is at the gray granite counter, making my mother her daily coffee like every average morning. Still in my pajamas, I walk outside to see the temperature. When I take my first step out, the chilly air bites my face. I look at the white circular thermometer and as soon as I see the cold number, I immediately decide the warm outfit I will wear. Instead of returning inside, I decide to admire the beautiful scenery. The frosty fall leaves gently descend to the frosty grass. Across the frosty foggy road, I see the perfect picture: The neighbor’s black tiger kitten is snuggled in a deep sleep with the yellow lab in his dog bed on the porch. The trees are dancing slowly by the gentle whistling wind. Sometimes, you even see a bright red cardinal up in my tree above the colorful garden. The call of my mother tells me to come back inside. My father tells me that it is time for him to leave for work and gives me a hug and “Peace out.” My mother has to leave at the same time as my father. She gives me a hug too and follows him out to the cars. She gets in her gray Prius and my father gets in his red Acura. When they pull out of the black driveway, I brush my teeth, and get dressed. I get my white backpack covered in different colored hearts ready for school. I brush my long straight layered brown hair and struggle to decide what to do with it. When I hear a car honking it’s horn, I quickly look at the clock: 8:00. i run around the house, turning all of the lights off like there’s no tomorrow. I put my black jacket on and slip my shoes on. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and run outside, closing the white door behind me and head off to school.
By,
Jillian 8^D
To Be Continued...
I am responding to Matt's story. Matt nice job overall! Lots of descriptive language! An area you can improve is when you describe Math (maybe mention that we use a smartboard and use computers a lot. Another part you can improve is when you describe your bedtime routine. Add more detail to these parts.
ReplyDeleteYou have a typo, you wrote: trough and you Mean tough:)
Please note these changes and revise your writing.
Your teacher and friend,
Mrs. Starr
A Day In The Life Of Me Continued
ReplyDeleteWhen I get home from a long day of school, I set my backpack down and walk through the little tunnel in the dining room leading to the tan living room. I do my homework while eating a snack. As soon as I am finished, blithely, I begin to play some Halo Reach. Abruptly, I hear the sound of a motor running. So I take a quick peek outside the navy blue curtains and sure enough, I spot my father arriving from work. He turns his car off and gets out of his car in his Custom Border Protection uniform. He opens the back door and takes his big black bags out and comes to the door. I hear him open the door and set his bags down on the kitchen floor. His black boots take steps across the hardwood floors and come into the living room. He says “hello” and asks me how my day at school was. I tell him it was good, like every other day. I turn off the XBOX so we can watch TV. I wait for him to get dresses into his regular Levi jeans and a T~Shirt. We watch TV, mostly soccer when it’s on and we wait for my mother to come home from her long day of work. I discuss what we should have for dinner that night with my father. When my mother returns home in her gray car. Her car is so silent that we only know that she’s home until we hear her car door shut. She walks in and sets her school stuff down in the dining room next to the cherry wood dining table. She greets us excitedly and tells us a little bit about her day. A few minutes later, my brother comes home in his black Adidas pants and a bright T~Shirt from practicing soccer. He wants to either watch TV with us or play Halo with me.
My mother prepares us a delicious dinner and we eat while we watch TV. After we’re done with our food, we usually pop in a movie and once we rest our bellies, I’ll make some popcorn with extra butter and salt. I sit on the couch and throw pieces of popcorn to my brother so he can try to catch them in his mouth.
Later that night, I brush my teeth and go to bed in my pajamas, making sure my guinea pig has her bedtime snack. I sleep in my bed covered with fluffy pillows and a nice, warm blanket. When i wake up by the buzzing of my alarm clock and the rustling saw dust from my guinea pig’s tiny black paws, it’s time to start a new day.
By
Jillian 8^D
A Day in the Life of Me
ReplyDeleteI wake up in the morning to my mom yelling, “MATT! TIME TO WAKE UP!!!”
I get up feeling a little light headed. “OK mom,” I would say.
I would open my window and find a beautiful day. The sky is as blue as the wide open sea. The air is fresh and clean. As I walk down stairs, my mom would say “Matt get ready for school and fix your hair.” I would get dressed, say goodbye to my mom and head out to school on my bike. When I get to school, I say hi to my friends. I would go trough the same subjects almost every day. Morning work , morning meeting, specials/math/kinder buddies, math, reading group, lunch, recess, Social Studies, independent work then finally ride the bus home. The best part of the day is when we get to do math. Math is my favorite subject. In math, we worked on our math surveys and charted our data. We use the computers a lot and we use a tool called a Smart Board. When I get home, I throw my backpack on the couch and say “Mom, I am going outside,”
Once I get outside, I could already see the beautiful sunset and all of the shades of blues, greens, purples, yellow, orange and red. I would see my dad working on my mom’s truck. I say “Hey dad,” as I run off into the woods whistling past him.
When I get back, my mom is yelling “ Matt dinner in ready!”
I would eat and then go outside. When I get outside, it is dark out and I can here the dark rumbles of thunder in the distance. I would carve things with my knife until the rain starts and then come back in the house. I would go trough my usual routine. When I get in the house, I would brush my teeth, say good night to my parents and go to bed.
-----Matt-----
I am responding to Jilly's Day in the life of. I really liked it was funny and it made sense. I think you could improve by saying what you did in school!!
ReplyDeleteSee yah later,
Julie : ^{O
Dear Matt,
ReplyDeleteBoy your mom seems to yell at you a lot! I think you did a great job. I however, think you should do a bit better job of describing in your day in the life of!! Anyway you did a nice job!!!
Your classmate,
Juliette :^{]
I'm writing to Jilly's continued piece. Jilly I honestly think you did an awesome job. I however, need to help you improve ssssssooooo yeah... you could say how long you play HALO... Well that's all for now!!!
ReplyDeleteSee ya,
Juliette >8^{ ]